The Monday Project #3 - Letter to future self

So, this week's assignment was to write a letter to myself looking back on 2010 chronicling my accomplishments...  WOW - This was a big undertaking, but a very powerful exercise.  So here goes...

Dearest Tiffany,

What a year it has been!  You have accomplished so much and have really made this year a powerful year of change.  Your theme for the year has been "honoring yourself, respecting your body and accomplishing your goals".  You started out the year motivated and excited to see what you were made of and what you were capable of.  You have accomplished so much.  Here is a re-cap:

You ran/walked your first half marathon and exceeded your fundraising goal to benefit the LLS.  You also completed a sprint triathalon in November.  You had difficulty fathoming that at the beginning of the year, but with the accomplishment of the half marathon, you were motivated and hungry for another challenge.  You released 60 pounds and now weigh 150 pounds, well on your way to your goal of 130.  You are a very thoughtful eater and now eat to fuel your body rather than comfort your body.  You have learned to get creative in times of stress to avoid using food as your stress reliever.  Lastly, you have learned to truly respect your body as the amazing, amazing vessel that allows you to live your passions and allows you to serve others and are treating it with honor and respect.

You have made David, Sam and Noah so proud.  Samuel calls you his "Biggest Loser Hero" and is so proud that you are backing up your words with action.  Noah is your biggest fan and your biggest encourager to keep racing and keep challenging yourself physically.  David is so thrilled that the woman he fell in love with and loves deeply, now sees that she is worth that love and sees how beautiful she is.  David trained for the triathalon too and you finished together.  You continue to be more in love than ever.

Thank you for choosing to risk and choosing to make this year amazing!  I love you and love who you have become in 2010.  

Love, Tiffany

Rethink Your Shrink - Week 4 Weigh-In

Two words:  WHOOO HOOOO!

That describes this week... Triumph after triumph

*Ran twice at the gym*

*Walked for two hours in Washington D.C. (on vacation!)*

*Counted calories strictly on four days*

*Drank more water*

So here are the results.

Last week weight - 210.8

This week weight -208.8

-2.0 lbs

Overall Drop - 3.6 lbs

I feel like I have really broken through and am finally honoring myself!

The Monday Project #3

So its time for another Monday Project at the Sisterhood...  Here are the instructions we were given...

This week, we’re giving you a license to talk some wonderful talk about yourselves. When we link up on Friday, we want you to list 5 reasons why you totally ROCK.

Any reasons whatsoever. There’s got to be at least five. And you know what? If you want to list more, go ahead! But give yourself some mad props this week and talk about why you are awesome. We want to know and we want to give you some mad props too.

Five Reasons I ROCK:

1.  I followed my passion and am living my higher calling in this life!  

I became a Pediatric Oncology (Childhood Cancer) Nurse eleven years ago and while the dark days are really rough, I spend the majority of my days helping cure children and watching the majority of them go on to live amazing lives.

2.  I am proud to be a working mom!

Contrary to what many of my friends chose, I CHOSE to have a career and raise my children and I have learned to embrace the fact that working has made me an even better mom.

3.  I am BULLHEADED, DETERMINED and very COMPETITIVE!

These character traits have lead me to most if not all of the victories in my life and I know will serve me well as I train for my first half marathon and as I walk forward on my journey to my skinny jeans.

4.  I am a giver!

While I am still learning to give to myself, I spend the majority of my time giving to others and I LOVE the way it makes me feel.

5. I am in my thirties (35 to be exact) and am PROUD of my age!

I feel like I am in my prime and am really coming into my own and am more and more comfortable in my own skin and make less and less apologies for who I am.

Well, there you have it - That wasn't easy...  But is pretty wonderful to look at and let sink in... 

Rethink Your Shrink - Week 3 Weigh-In

I pretty much chronicled the past week in yesterday's post, so here are the numbers:

 Last week weight - 210.8

This week weight -210.8

-0.0 lbs

Overall Drop - 1.6 lbs

So glad I maintained....  Especially since I was up by 2lbs yesterday morning.


Although it may have been late in the week to make my huge exercise breakthrough, I am SOOO glad that my motivation has changed.  

I still cannot believe that I signed up to do a HALF MARATHON!!!

My challenge and opportunity for the coming week is to get my eating plan figured out.  I have really struggled to do it all on my own.  I am actually considering Nutrisystem or Jenny Craig, so that the food is already prepped for me.  Anyone have preferences?  I am thinking it will be just a way to jumpstart me and that within a couple of months I will be able to take over on my own.  What have you had the most success with?
 

True Confessions Tuesday

It is Tuesday, which means it is time for...

Sooo, as I highlighted in the last post, it was a tough week last week and that poured into this week.  Really until today, the funk continued.  The list of "transgressions" is LONG...

A few confessions:

Several drinks on Friday and Sunday nights

Chocolate on three different days

Intentionally going to the section of the store to buy said chocolate

Stopping at Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone

Skipping Zumba on Sunday and Monday

Grabbing candy from one of the many candy dishes at work

That about summarizes what I remember...  I just haven't been able to get serious and back my desires up with action.  What is it about human nature that causes us to be so sadistic?  I just flat abuse myself on a regular basis, when I KNOW BETTER.  For now, it is what it is and it is all out there...

HOWEVER...

Today was a big turning point!  Up until today, the funk had a hold on me.  I had a major breakthrough at the gym.  When I had gone to the gym on Saturday, I tried to walk/run on the treadmill and REALLY struggled.  My shins hurt within a couple of minutes and I just couldn't get into any kind of groove and couldn't get rid of the burning in my shins. 

So, today was the day that I took the plunge and sent in my application and $50 to do the Virtual Teams in Training Half Marathon with Team Shrinking Jeans!  I guess I was majorly just a bit inspired to go back and conquer the treadmill.  I started out slower and eased my speed up and instead of increasing my speed when I started to jog, I stayed at the same speed and did SOOO much better.  Then, I decided to take a page out of the Biggest Loser playbook and increase my speed all the way to a run for 30 seconds - BUT MADE IT FOR A WHOLE MINUTE! I then decreased my speed for two minutes and did this through til the end.  By the end I had gone 40 minutes and 2.75 miles!

I felt so good and so proud of myself.  I really felt like I broke through!

Now THAT is the positive side of my true confessions...

Rethink Your Shrink! Week 2 Weigh-In

So its Week 2...  

It has been quite the week and I am in a FUNK.  The week started okay with great e nergy and aspirations for greatness.  For some reason it felt like the universe put every roadblock possible in my way... Fatigue, needy kids, that time of the month, cramps, laziness, TV... you name it - It seemed to be in my way. Then, the last couple of days I have been so down on myself and so stressed with life that I feel somewhat helpless.

So, no surprise that the scale showed minimal change...

 Last week weight - 211.2

This week weight - 210.8

-0.4 lbs

Overall Drop - 1.6 lbs

With the clear knowledge that I needed to get off my rear end and MOVE, I chose to come home after lunch and workout.  And because it was such a beautiful day in the Valley of the Sun today, I chose to conquer this...

Camelback Mountain!

Okay, so I conquered about half of it, but anyone who knows this climb, knows it is an advanced climb.  It felt great to be outside in the 70 degree sunshine and it felt good to move.  I struggled the whole way with the thought of how much weight I am carrying on my body and how much different it would feel minus 75 pounds.  You see, there was a day, not so many years ago that I would have never believed that I would be capable of someday running a climb like this, but now my mind can actually conceive of it and I know, without a doubt that I am strong enough to do something like that.  The problem is that my body is still my biggest obstacle.  I spent much of my hike wishing I had a a magic wand to remove the fat.

Anyway, it has definitely been a week of challenge and a week of obstacles (at least perceived obstacles).  I do think that the biggest obstacle I have faced is myself.  So now its time to take myself on and fight through my excuses, negative thoughts and self-doubt.

Goals for the week:

Affirmations upon waking and printed to have with me for stressful moments.

Exercise (Zumba, Gym, Walk/Run) 4 days

Cut Caffeine back to one diet soda/day, one cup of tea/day

No eating after 8pm.

The Monday Project #1 (Re-Publish)

2009 was quite the year of transition for me. Throughout the course of the year one message became painfully clear... Life had become too busy and too complicated. In terms of my weight and overall health, I started the year making strides towards becoming medication free with hopes that I would be able to finally release the extra seventy pounds I am carrying around with me. The "medication free gig" went horribly wrong and it became apparent that I continue to need my medication, and while this was disappointing it was also freeing because I could no longer use the excuse "oh, I will drop the weight when I get off my meds". This initiated a barrage of diet attempts... Biggest Loser, Calorie counting, vegetarian... and the list goes on. The troubling issue for me was that I would drop an initial 5-7 pounds and then would stop while continuing to maintain the program. The only other outstanding physical issue that remained was the Mirena IUD I still had, so near the end of the year I finally removed that and took away any hormone issue that could be contributing, just in time for the holidays.

In a nutshell...


My biggest obstacles in 2009

Medication, Hormones, impatience, emotional eating and self-sabotage

My biggest pattern in 2009

Pick a plan, make it through about 6-8 weeks after plateauing at 5-7lb loss

Rock Bottom Moment

I think my rock-bottom moment was when my seven year old looked at me and told me I was fat and wanted to know why I was fat. We watch the Biggest Loser as a family and he had finally put two and two together and in his young, simple mind wanted an answer... Talk about convicting.

My bad habits

snack, snack, snack and sweets, sweets, sweets. Ever since I started my medication for PPD several years ago, my sweet tooth has grown out of control with chocolate being my drug of choice.

My potential hazards going into 2010

Emotional/stress eating is always my biggest hazard with snacking on sweets (mainly at work) coming in as a close second. I think I have thoughtfully and purposely weeded out many obstacles and because of my commitment to doing this in a healthy manner so as to change my way of living, not just a "follow a diet plan to drop the pounds" manner, I feel that I am well positioned for 2010.

What DID work in 2010

Boy have I learned a lot about myself... I have learned that I need to accept more love from those who care about me, so that I don't feel like I have to fill my "love tank" with food. I have identified the stress triggers that lead me to munch. I have learned that my body is an amazing mechanism that really is a work of art worthy of being respected and nurtured. I embraced my strength as a woman knowing that I am strong enough to accomplish my goals. I found the exercise that gives me an endorphin high and makes me happy every time I do it. I have begun to embrace my "sexy side" through zumba dance class and am not afraid to move my body and show it where I am and what I weigh in THIS moment.

So here I am... Its the beginning of 2010 and the future is BRIGHT!
THIS IS MY YEAR! I feel like 2009 was my time to workout a lot of kinks, learn a lot about myself and get my plan in place. My biggest plan for change in 2010 can be summed up in one word...

COMMITMENT.

Commitment to myself in terms of loving who I am and honoring my body because I love myself.

Commitment to a goal - Teams in Training - Rock and Roll San Diego - Actually signing-up and doing-it.

Commitment to conscious eating and doing what I know to be healthy and most importantly being conscious of how I am feeling when I eat.

Commitment to a team of support and accountability (Thank you Sisterhood!).

So... Here is the 2009 me....
Taken in October 2009 at my all-time high weight

And here is where I am going in 2010...
Taken in 2004 after losing all of my baby weight following my first child - 150lbs
(My overall goal is to be between 130-140...)

Here's to 2010!

Rethink Your Shrink - Week 1 Weigh-In (Republish)

Week 2 - Here I am!

This week was my first attempt at easing back into the routine and getting back to what I know. I planned the dinners for the week using the Biggest Loser 30 Day Jumpstart and did all of the shopping ahead of time. Outside of a few glitches, we did really well at dinner time. I have not gotten back fully to exercising - largely because of having a cold, but that will change in the week ahead as I feel better.

I am very happy to report:

Last week weight - 212.4
This week weight - 211.2
-1.2lb
Overall drop - 1.2lb

As my husband pointed out... "if you do that every week for the next year, you will be down more than 50lbs!" While, I sit here anxiously hoping for it to come off faster, he has a very good point that reinforces my challenge to myself to celebrate ANY loss no matter how large or small.

I do have to say, though, after watching The Biggest Loser last night, 20lbs in a week would be mighty nice!

Click the icon above and join me at the Sisterhood for the Shrinking Jeans - Rethink your shrink challenge open to all!

Rethink Your Shrink - Week 1 (Re-Publish)

I am so ready for the NEW YEAR to start!

I love, love, love the Christmas season, but seriously, if anyone else brings me a plate of cookies, or fudge, or peppermint bark, I just may go postal. What is it about Christmas that gives us all the carte blanche to be complete gluttons? I took the opportunity to be very thoughtful and deliberate about my eating all the way up until a week before Christmas and was successful in maintaining a net loss of two pounds... THAT was a huge victory for me!

However, once I let loose two weeks ago, I LET LOOSE! Like. a. crazy. woman. So here I am in the depths of my gluttony and I am READY to start fresh and to feel like a healthy person who uses food for fuel, not to fill every stress-filled void in my life.

Which brings me to the latest Shrinking Jeans Challenge....

Rethink Your Shrink

I love the description of the challenge... 
 

"This is the day you’ve decided to change your mind about food and health. This is the day you’ve decided to venture outside of your comfort zone. This is the day you’ve taken the first step toward becoming the person you have always wanted to be. The person you picture. No more waiting around. The change starts now and it starts with you, within you. Claim today and every day as yours starting this very minute! Because 2010 is your year!"

I couldn't have said it better and am thrilled to have this be so in line with what my own intuition is telling me and in line with the focus of my life -

I want LIFE CHANGES, not just a weight loss program.

I want to believe in myself and feel great in my own skin.

I want to FEEL the moments that I choose to stuff with food.

I want the ME that is inside to SHINE!

So here are my goals:

Weight - 10 pound loss in 7 weeks

Eating - Conscious eating with food tracking and calorie counting

Exercise - Zumba 2-3 times/week; workout with weights/cardio 2-3 times/week for a total of 5-6 days exercise per week.

Weight Two Weeks ago - 210.0

Weight today - 212.4

Here we go... Click the icon above to join us at the Sisterhood!

So here I am!

I decided to start a whole new blog for my journey to
 
RELEASE ME...

This blog will chronicle my journey to release... weight, control, fear and anything else that I discover along the way. I have joined an incredible network of people with common goals and desires. We all are on a journey to our better selves and to much LESS of ourselves. Its called The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans... Go check it out!

I am going to add several posts from the beginning of the current challenge for the new year - just for continuity sake.