What a release!

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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Spring Fling Challenge Weigh-In #4

Sisterhood Spring Fling Challenge

This has been a STRESSFUL week!

Remember that crazy work situation that I have been in?  Well, I made a decision a couple of weeks ago, to stay in my current position - after MUCH thought, conversation with administration and prayer....  Well, lets just say my decision wasn't the popular one - I am the only nurse in our office that has decided to stay and the others are in a heavy resentment phase.  They are not only having a hard time understanding, but they refuse to be respectful and have done much to make my life difficult.  Why does change often get ugly?  My new motto has become, "everyone just needs to get to where they are going!"  Then we can all move forward and be confident in our decisions...

Okay, venting done....

Lets just say there has been some stress, however, that has brought out great things in my exercise and running.

I ran/walked 7.44 miles this weekend!!!!!  
Again, another week that I have gone farther than ever!

and

One of the greatest benefits of all of this running has been that I HAVE DROPPED A PANT SIZE!!!  In the midst of my stress on Friday, instead of going to Dairy Queen I went shopping and was pleasantly surprised to discover A NEW SIZE!  Needless to say, I left with a new top and two new skirts!  The best part was that it was on credit at my friend's consignment shop, so I got to "stress shop" for FREE!

Last week, my amazing TEAM INCREDIBLE over at the Hood
maintained a top 5 finish despite a challenging week!  We went from almost last to almost first!  Can't wait to see what we have created this week!


Okay, so here are the stats:

Starting Weight
208 lbs
Today's Weight
203.2 lbs
Change from last week
1 lb
Total Difference
4.8 lbs
 

Friday, March 26, 2010

Monday Project

The Monday Project

Its time for another Monday Project!
Here were our instructions...
I want to know, how would you finish this sentence? Whatever it is that you do. Whether you run, kickbox, yoga, shred, Gilad, tri, swim, cycle, spin, lift weights, etc… enter your exercise and fill in the blank.

I (your preferred exercise) because ____________.
I have a couple of answers to this...

First - 
I RUN because I am passionate about children with cancer; because every step I take is a step of love for my patients and their families; because it makes me feel ALIVE; because it is an accomplishment; because it is the only thing that relieves all of this crazy stress swirling around me; because I am getting a glimpse of all that I am capable; because I am a strong woman; BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE!!!

Second - 
I ZUMBA because I love to dance; because I sweat like crazy; because I love the music; because it makes me feel ALIVE; because it makes me laugh and sing and feel like I am back in college; because it makes me feel SEXY; because it makes me feel like a beautiful woman; 
BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE!!!

In a nutshell, exercise makes me feel ALIVE and vibrant and beautiful!
 

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Spring Fling Challenge Weigh-In #4

Sisterhood Spring Fling Challenge

This has been a GREAT week!

Skiing, two nights away with my hubbie to celebrate our 10 year anniversary, college basketball...  Not much more I could ask for!

AND

I ran/walked 6.12 miles!!!!!  
That is the farthest I have ever gone!  I am more and more amazed by what my body is capable of - even at 200 pounds!  I love what I am discovering about myself.

I had a very profound "Ahh Haa" moment on the slopes this week - the story is HERE.

Last week, my amazing TEAM INCREDIBLE over at the Hood
finished in 3rd place!  We went from almost last to almost first!  Can't wait to see what we have created this week!


Okay, so here are the stats:

Starting Weight
208 lbs
Today's Weight
204.2 lbs
Change from last week
1.4 lbs
Total Difference
3.8 lbs
 

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Defining moment

This week I taught my boys how to ski... I hadn't planned on being the teacher, but you can read more about that HERE...

So, this was the first time I have been back on skis since having children and packing on 50 additional pounds.  I was so excited to get back on a mountain.  I grew up in a ski resort and have been skiing since I learned to walk.  I had the rare privilege of not only ski racing until moving away in High School, but I also went to a school that went skiing for P.E.  I learned at an early age that the closest place to God is on top of a snow covered mountain on a sunny day without a cloud in the sky, and that one of the most exhilarating feelings in the world is flying down a mountain on skis.

So, back to this week... I had to do several things that reminded me of just how much my body has changed... Like buy XL Ski pants because my old ones didn't fit... Like write my weight down on the rental ski form... Like struggle to not be completely out of breath while bending over to buckle my ski boots.

But the most profound moment came on the mountain.  Noah was having an all out temper tantrum and he and David were about 40 yards higher than me on the ski slope.  Once it became apparent that I was the only one that he was going to respond to, I side stepped up to them and sat down in the snow with him until he calmed down.  We got things straightened out and it was time to get up so that we could carry on with our run.

BUT, there was one problem... I couldn't get myself up.  My skis were still on and I tried at least five times to pull myself up with my poles, but there was just no way it was going to happen... The fact was that I was just too heavy to make a maneuver like that without taking my skis off, standing up and putting them back on.  I looked a bit like this...


NEVER in all of my years on skis had I EVER had a moment like this.  I have always fought my weight, but was always agile and limber enough to remain athletic in winter sports.  It was really difficult and truth be told, really embarassing. 

Many questions came to mind

How could I get to this point?
How could I allow this to happen?
Why can't I say no to food?
What happened to me?

You may be thinking that was the defining moment, but it wasn't... The defining moment came after the mountain, after the questions, after the discussion with David about what had happened... It came when I was able to get quiet with myself and truly look at where I am at.  The moment was this....

GRATITUDE....

Gratitude that I am now on a journey to move past moments like that.

Gratitude that I am pushing my body to limits I have never experienced as I train for a half marathon.

Gratitude that I am finally choosing to honor my body.

Gratitude that I am surrounded by like-minded women at the Sisterhood who are on similar journeys .

Gratitude for the knowledge that I will never again experience that moment on a ski slope because next year when I get back on skis, my body will be much lighter.

and

Gratitude for the amazing self-awareness that I am choosing to REALLY SEE.

I can't wait until next winter.  I can't wait to write a new story.  I can't wait to see the results of all of this hard work! 

***Oh and two days later, I walk/ran 4 miles at 5200 feet above sea level, in the wind...in under an hour... That is something that makes me proud and something that allows me to marvel at the strength of my body...
 

Spring Fling Challenge Weigh-In #3

Sisterhood Spring Fling Challenge

This post is coming a bit late, but spring break interrupted much of my normal schedule!

I am going to get right to the numbers...

I am continuing to participate with my fabulous
TEAM INCREDIBLE over at the Hood


Okay, so here are the stats:

Starting Weight
208 lbs
Today's Weight
205.6 lbs
Change from last week
1.2 lbs
Total Difference
2.4 lbs
 

Monday, March 15, 2010

Team Shrinking Jeans Bash!

For the next 2 weeks over at the Sisterhood, we are having a Team Shrinking Jeans Bash! What is this Bash I speak of, you might be asking? It's a HUGE party with door prizes and an awesome Grand Prize of $400 cash! Yes, cash!

What is Team Shrinking Jeans anyway? Well, a group of 16 Sisters and one Brother are training to run the San Diego Rock N Roll 1/2 Marathon through the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's (LLS) Team in Training Program (TNT). Through TNT, Team Shrinking Jeans will be training for the race AND raising $48,900 for LLS. Isn't that amazing?

You can read more about our amazing team here, and find out why each of us is doing this here.

How can you join the Bash? Simple! Donate to Team Shrinking Jeans through our secure online team fundraising page. For every $5 you donate, you'll be entered to win one of over 30 fabulous door prizes. If you donate $25, not only will you get 5 chances to win door prizes, but you'll also be entered to win the granddaddy of all prizes: CASH!

Did you know?
Every 4 minutes one person is diagnosed with a blood cancer.

An estimated 139,860 people in the United States will be diagnosed with leukemia, lymphoma or myeloma in 2009. New cases of leukemia, Hodgkin and non-Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma account for 9.5 percent of the 1,479,350 new cancer cases diagnosed in the United States this year*.

Overall incidence rates per 100,000 population for leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma are almost identical for data reported in 2008 and 2009 [(leukemia 12.2, 2009 vs.12.3, 2008); (NHL, 19.5, each year); (Hodgkin lymphoma, 2.8, each year); (myeloma, 5.6, each year)].

Leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma will cause the deaths of an estimated 53,240 people in the United States this year. These blood cancers will account for nearly 9.5 percent of the deaths from cancer in 2009 based on the 562,340 total cancer-related deaths.

Every ten minutes, someone dies from a blood cancer.  This statistic represents nearly 146 people each day, or more than six people every hour.  Leukemia causes more deaths than any other cancer among children and young adults under the age of 20.  In general, the likelihood of dying from most types of leukemia, lymphoma or myeloma decreased from 1996 to 2005 (the most recent data available).
 
*Facts and statistics from Leukemia, Lymphoma, Myeloma Facts 2009-2010, June 2009.
Those are some pretty eye-opening statistics, huh?

So head on over and join in the Bash! Check out the fabulous prizes, click on over and donate, and be sure to check in everyday for Happy Hour!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Spring Fling Challenge Weigh-In #2

Sisterhood Spring Fling Challenge
Overall, this was a good week.

On the exercise front, I continued my "shredding" except for the days that I am running.  That Jillian can really kick some tail... I love when she says that the pain is "fear leaving the body" - That is my new motto and let me tell you, I have released a lot of fear!  I also have been continuing with my run/walk training and I had a HUGE milestone this week....

I ran/walked FIVE MILES!!!!  
That is a first for me and the farthest I have gone yet! AND, it felt GREAT!!!!
I am more and more amazed by what I am capable of!

Now for the food front...  I am still having a difficult time.  The stress is still there, but is a bit different.  I am very close to making a decision and am MUCH more at peace.  Thank you, thank you everyone who has prayed with me for clarity - the prayers have really helped and I feel such peace...  That said, I continue to spend my days in a very stressful environment and it is like impulse for me to grab the M&M's out of the bowl five feet from me in the nurses station or to make a "comfort food" meal at home (like chicken n dumplings) or to snack at night.  It all still has a hold on me!

With all of this exercise, I can only imagine what I could release from my body and what I could transform my body into if I found more discipline with eating....

Soooooo, here is my challenge for myself this week...

I will document my calories and everything I put into my mouth on www.dailyplate.com and will report daily to my fabulous TEAM INCREDIBLE over at the Hood
 

Okay, so here are the stats:

Starting Weight
208 lbs
Today's Weight
206.8 lbs
Change from last week
0 lbs
Total Difference
1.2lbs
 

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Monday Project

The Monday Project

Its time for another Monday Project!
Here were our instructions...

“What would it be like if I just started this journey two years from now?”

Hmmmm... I am not sure I really want to think about two years from now...

These things I know for sure:

I would likely weigh more than I do now
I would be two years worth more unhappy
I would have even more sore joints and feet!
I would believe my own lies and rationalizations on a much deeper level
My boys would have difficulty believing anything I say.

I have lived the majority of my life dealing with my weight and learning about myself and what is really behind my eating.  I have "patched the symptoms" with quick fix dieting, but I have also had incredible opportunities to learn my triggers, my emotional connections to food, my habits.  My children are on to my rationalizations and more importantly I am on to my rationalizations!  I am at a pivotal time in my life.... NOW is MY time, not tomorrow and certainly NOT two years from now!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Spring Fling Challenge Weigh-In #1

Sisterhood Spring Fling Challenge

I am so excited about this new challenge!  I am officially training for my first half marathon with Team in Training on TEAM SHRINK with 18 amazing women (and one man) from the Sisterhood...

This will be such and amazing opportunity for me to see just what I am made of and capable of.
That is the upside!

Now for the downside...  Life is INCREDIBLY stressful.  Life as I know it at my workplace has completely been blown to smithereens.  Two of the five physicians I work for made the decision to leave the practice January 1st and several weeks ago, the remaining three physicians announced that they, too are leaving and going to work for the other children's hospital in town - the one that I used to work for and left for very good reason.  The kicker?  They want us to come with them,  AND my current employer desperately wants me to stay to help rebuild the program.  Don't get me wrong, in this economy when many are desperate find a job, I am incredibly fortunate to literally have TWO jobs and two facilities that want me to come work for them because of the career I have created and the skills I possess.

Nevertheless, this is a very stressful decision for me to make and already I have four patients that have told me they will not make a decision to go or stay until they hear from me about my decision - basically the future of their treatment lays in my hands - NO PRESSURE!

So here I am with tremendous stress and pressure and while all of the exercise I am doing is helping me tremendously to maintain my sanity and remain somewhat calm, I am really struggling with my stress eating.  My choices of what to put in my mouth have been horrendous... Pizza, chocolate, cookies, carbs, coffee, coffee, coffee and more coffee.

I am going to trudge forward and use my team... Team Incredible to motivate and challenge me.  I refuse to be unproductive and beat myself up, so I will put one foot in front of the other, SHRED, RUN/WALK, DRINK MY WATER, and MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO EAT CONSCIOUSLY (rather than shoving every single thing in front of me into my mouth).

Here are the stats:

Starting Weight
208 lbs
Today's Weight
206.8 lbs
Change from last week
1.2 lbs
Total Difference
1.2lbs

I did a bit of "shreding" this morning and am SORE with a capital SORE.  Jillian is kicking my tail and according to her I have  A TON of fear leaving my body!