I seem to be having a string of BLAH weeks...
I read this post over on Christie O's blog yesterday and, well, I think she was spying on me and was writing about me as well. I have definitely been going through my days unconsciously. Unconscious of the food passing my lips, unconscious of how I respond to my emotions and unconscious of how I have been hurting myself.
To be conscious takes SO. MUCH. DAMN. WORK! Work to choose in EVERY MOMENT to honor my body and to honor my soul... work to eat clean, healthy foods... work to get my butt out of bed in the morning to exercise (even when I can't run... ) and work to feel my emotions rather than pacify them with food.
Work has become very stressful and while it is a much healthier and positive environment, I have a tremendous amount of pressure on me as one of the few senior staff left in our office. As I often feel being a mom, I now feel that I have to be ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE in my workplace too. It has made for a lot of stress, a grumpy mommy, and a very tired wife. I am realizing how incredibly important my training for the half marathon had become to my emotional health. And yet, here I sit, unable to run until this past weekend, eating my emotions and not getting enough exercise.
Okay, this is kind of a downer post...
BUT
I had an amazingly humbling experience this weekend...
Many of you saw this post over at the Sisterhood. Well, let me share how I came upon it. I woke up on Sunday morning with my kiddos snuggling with me - got my tweet that there was a new post, opened it up and stunned, saw my name chosen for sister spotlight... I had to read it several times to believe it, and then the precious, kind, humbling words shared by Brooke brought me to tears... By the end of the post I couldn't see I was crying so hard. It is so much easier to believe the negative things about myself... Reading this was so profound for me. It reminded me of all I have accomplished in the past six months and reminded me that
I. AM. WORTH. IT.
THIS is what I love about the Sisterhood and what I love about the beautiful women I am surrounded by and have come to love. True support... True commitment... True Sisterhood!
Time to put an end to the self-loathing and the post race slump. I ran on Saturday and Tuesday and have officially begun training for my next half marathon on November 7th! Which, by the way, has the coolest finisher medal! Lissa and I have agreed that we could continue entering races just to collect medals! Whatever works... right? I got back to my eating plan on Tuesday and had pretty good success. While I expected to have less than stellar results this week, I am confident that I am turning a corner.
I read this post over on Christie O's blog yesterday and, well, I think she was spying on me and was writing about me as well. I have definitely been going through my days unconsciously. Unconscious of the food passing my lips, unconscious of how I respond to my emotions and unconscious of how I have been hurting myself.
To be conscious takes SO. MUCH. DAMN. WORK! Work to choose in EVERY MOMENT to honor my body and to honor my soul... work to eat clean, healthy foods... work to get my butt out of bed in the morning to exercise (even when I can't run... ) and work to feel my emotions rather than pacify them with food.
Work has become very stressful and while it is a much healthier and positive environment, I have a tremendous amount of pressure on me as one of the few senior staff left in our office. As I often feel being a mom, I now feel that I have to be ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE in my workplace too. It has made for a lot of stress, a grumpy mommy, and a very tired wife. I am realizing how incredibly important my training for the half marathon had become to my emotional health. And yet, here I sit, unable to run until this past weekend, eating my emotions and not getting enough exercise.
Okay, this is kind of a downer post...
BUT
I had an amazingly humbling experience this weekend...
Many of you saw this post over at the Sisterhood. Well, let me share how I came upon it. I woke up on Sunday morning with my kiddos snuggling with me - got my tweet that there was a new post, opened it up and stunned, saw my name chosen for sister spotlight... I had to read it several times to believe it, and then the precious, kind, humbling words shared by Brooke brought me to tears... By the end of the post I couldn't see I was crying so hard. It is so much easier to believe the negative things about myself... Reading this was so profound for me. It reminded me of all I have accomplished in the past six months and reminded me that
I. AM. WORTH. IT.
THIS is what I love about the Sisterhood and what I love about the beautiful women I am surrounded by and have come to love. True support... True commitment... True Sisterhood!
Time to put an end to the self-loathing and the post race slump. I ran on Saturday and Tuesday and have officially begun training for my next half marathon on November 7th! Which, by the way, has the coolest finisher medal! Lissa and I have agreed that we could continue entering races just to collect medals! Whatever works... right? I got back to my eating plan on Tuesday and had pretty good success. While I expected to have less than stellar results this week, I am confident that I am turning a corner.
So, here are my numbers...
Starting Weight
215 lbs
Starting Weight for this Challenge
196.6
Starting Weight for this Challenge
196.6
Today's Weight
196.2 lbs
Change from last week
+0.2 lb
Difference for the challenge
-0.4 lb
Difference for the challenge
-0.4 lb
Total Difference
-18.8 lbs
Hugs, just hugs! You're amazing and I'm glad you're taking care of you!
ReplyDeleteway to pull yourself up!! {hugs}
ReplyDeleteYou are worth it! And I totally think the finisher medal is cool!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a positive post today! I have been feeling blah and it's nice to read a happy ending to a "blah" post. You are worth and sometimes everyone just needs a little reminder about that! Good job!!
ReplyDeleteI was so happy to see you get spotlighted!! You totally deserve it!
ReplyDeleteoh my gosh....that is the coolest medal! I am so happy that the sister spotlight lifted your spirits, because you have done that for so many of us already! Everyone one of us have those bumps, I'm just glad to hear you were steered back on track!
ReplyDeletewe all have those downer posts every now and again. and that's okay so long as we don't wallow in it!
ReplyDeletethis might sound crazy, but i save complimentary emails, the link to my spotlight, etc to re-read on bad days. you know those days when you can't find anything good about yourself? its nice to have other's thoughts there to make it a little easier.
also - i'm doing a half in november (well at least i'd better be healed & ready by then) mines on the 21st. we'll probably be on similar training schedules!! :)
Just wanted you to know I think you're awesome. SO AWESOME. And I love you. And that medal? WOW! I think I want to come run with you just so I can get that awesome medal :)
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxo